NARM VS. Other Therapy

The NARM process is an invitation into deeper connection with ourselves, each other, and with life itself. 

Many of the people seeking out NARM have had a lot of therapy.  They are tired of being stuck in the same old patterns.  

While it can be comforting to have someone listen attentively and with acceptance, it’s often not enough to address the complex dynamics that arise from developmental trauma.  

Some of the things I’ve heard from real people are: 

“He’s great, I love my therapist, but I’m really not sure if it’s helping.” 

“I just don’t know what we were even doing in therapy.” 

“I had done all of the things, from yoga, to meditation, to bodywork, to therapy of all kinds and I kept feeling like there was something wrong with me that nothing was working.” 

“I’m amazed that, sometimes even in one NARM session, I can access something (like self-acceptance) at the deepest level that I only understood cognitively before.” 

“I’ve been over this territory so many times with other therapists. I thought, what is the point? But, this is different. NARM somehow allows me to relate to the old experiences in a new way that is truly new, and liberating.” 

NARM was designed to heal the impacts of developmental trauma, which are: 

-difficulties with emotional regulation 

-issues with self-worth and self-esteem, and 

-recurring challenges with relationships. 

If that describes you (and just about everyone you know), you’re not alone.  It’s a lucky one who escapes childhood without some of this wounding…even if you think of your upbringing as pretty good.

While NARM therapy may look like regular talk therapy to an observer, the internal experience of the client is much more embodied and revelatory.

Most mainstream therapies these days rely on manualized protocols that can be replicated no matter who the therapist is or the nature of the therapeutic relationship.  These therapies are popular because they are a) short term, usually between 6 and 12 sessions; b) they rely on a step-by-step formula; c) as such they are conducive to scientific trials; and so, d) they’re cheap and favored by our for-profit healthcare system.

NARM therapy, in contrast, has no set endpoint and engagements can range between just a few sessions to years of intensive support, depending on the severity of the challenges.  It is guided by four pillars:

1. Clarifying the Therapeutic Contract, 

2. Asking Exploratory Questions,

3. Reinforcing Agency

4. Reflecting Positive Psychobiolgical Shifts.

These are not sequential or even linear processes. They provide a framework for holding the complexity of the human experience with acceptance and the possibility of change.  

The experience of the client can be intense, but intentionally not overwhelming.  The focus is on containment of the big energies (or life force) at play when we reconnect with aspects of self that have been disowned. We may experience profound shifts in who we take ourselves to be and a calmer, more regulated nervous system.

If you’re interested in learning more about NARM, either from the client or practitioner perspective, let’s have a chat.